empty vessels / healing.

i am alone in world
i don’t understand
i am trapped in a system
i just can’t grasp
i am
lonely
i am
grateful
for the people who gave me
comfort
in the past years
for the people who gave me a
break
from being lonely
i have to go on
to find–
but what am i searching for?
loneliness lingers
over us, around us, inside of us
like the cold of the night
creeping deep into bones
i am no longer running away from
the loneliness
that i have brought into myself
disabling myself from
connecting to the human race
i let the loneliness
crush me, drown me, consume me
until i lose myself
because i have to be empty
to fill myself with
everything the Universe has to offer
everything i can find–
but what am i searching for?
everything.